As Your Doctor
by shatterthoughts
Summary: Barry has a problem. M for sexual references.
1. Chapter 1

Barry's could feel a red flush going up his neck, his heart beating fast even for him.

"Guys, this isn't funny."

Cisco was trying, really, he was. He managed to keep his mouth shut for a total of five seconds before the laugh burst through.

"It's kind of funny," he said. Barry shot him a tormented look. "OK, OK, totally not funny. At all." He shut his mouth again, but the smile slipped through. "So like, can you even last five minutes, or –"

Barry covered his face with his hands, turning around and walking away. "Forget I said anything, OK?"

"Well," Caitlin said, still with the same frozen expression as before, "I mean… theoretically…"

"Kill me now," Barry mumbled.

"And how exactly did you find this out, Barry?" Cisco asked. Alright, he had stopped trying. There was a ridiculous glee in his eyes now, at the absolute absurdity at the situation.

Barry's face burned. "I'm not having that conversation."

"Well… I mean, in order to really know, we'd have to run tests and –" Caitlin started.

"No – no, no, no, no, no" Barry said. He had his hands linked behind his head, pacing in circles, "I am not… that… can't you just give me a pill or something?" He looked up at Caitlin in desperation.

"This… well, it's not my area of expertise," Caitlin said.

Cisco let out a laugh.

"Maybe you should see a specialist," Caitlin said.

"A specialist who knows about my super speed?" Barry said.

"Super speed in more ways than one apparently," Cisco said.

Barry and Caitlin both shot him a look, Barry's considerably more menacing.

"Right, right, totally not funny. At all," Cisco said, suddenly finding the papers on his table very interesting. "Serious problem. Medical. Not funny."

"As your doctor," Caitlin said, collecting herself more.

"Oh, God," Barry said, hiding his face in his hands again.

"I would advise you," Caitlin continued, "To try… equipment… that would…"

"You need to get a cock ring," Cisco interrupted.

Barry let out a noise that sounded somewhat like a cross between "what?" "huh?" and "Ah!"

Caitlin looked at Cisco, dropping her hands, "Thank you, Cisco. I may have been trying to word that just a _bit_ gentler, but yes." She looked back at Barry. "You could also try sex therapy – I mean premature ejaculation is a common –"

"OK, stop," Barry said. His face was officially a tomato. "No – no thank you."

"Barry," Caitlin said, "I mean this is a healthy, normal –"

"Not having this conversation!"

"I would need tests," Caitlin said finally, "To help you any more than that."

Barry groaned.

"That's the spirit," Cisco said.

Barry wanted to sink into the ground.

**So I might continue this or I might leave it - haven't decided yet. Hope it made you laugh anyway - please review and let me know what you think :) Comments and suggestions always very much appreciated.**


	2. Chapter 2

Caitlin was a scientist. A doctor. She was professional. So it was only logical that she approach this with a professional, scientific air. Run tests. Collect data. Find a solution. The fact that this was Barry and that it just happened to have to do with the male genitalia should not get in the way of things.

Not that Caitlin wasn't completely, hyper-aware of the acute awkwardness of the situation, because she was definitely quite aware of that, but she wasn't subject to the complete and total embarrassment that Barry seemed to be engulfed in. She went to medical school. It wasn't like she had never worked with patients on these things before.

Barry on the other hand had resigned to his fate for the time being and absolutely refused to bring up the subject. Cisco threw in a few snickers but mostly Barry was just happy that Wells hadn't been at Star labs that day.

In his mind it was all going well and good up until Caitlin walked up to him, held up a small plastic container and said, "I need a sample of your semen."

Across the room Cisco choked on his water.

Barry's eyes widened and his mouth opened but he didn't get a chance to get a word out.

"Did you just say… what I think you just said?" He asked.

"No," he said, turning around, "No, she did not, because that is not happening, not under any circumstances –"

"I just want to run some tests – actually I don't know why we haven't asked sooner, I mean the properties of your speed –"

"No," Barry said.

"Barry –"

"I am not comfortable with this," he said. "At all. Like reached a new level of not comfortable with –"

"Do you want help or not?" Caitlin asked, her hands at her hips.

Barry made a strangled noise.

Caitlin pressed the cup into his hands. He held it like it might be poison. "Go," she said, pointing. "There's a room, down on the left, second one. If nothing more, than it will help me understand how the lightening has affected you better."

"Think of it as a sacrifice for science," Cisco put in.

Caitlin shot him a glare.

"Right, or, you know, it could be potentially dangerous," Cisco said. He shook his head up and down. "It's just a routine testing."

Barry's mouth twisted between a grimace and a glare. "Oh, so routine."

Caitlin pushed him towards the hallway. "Go," she said.

"Now?"

"Yes, Barry."

"Why now?"

Caitlin let out an exasperated noise. "When did you want to do it Barry?"

"I don't know," he said, "Can't I just… I don't know, bring it by tomorrow."

Caitlin's face went flat. "How long exactly do you think sperm cells stay alive after –"

"OK, fine, point taken." He took two steps in the direction of the hallway, then stopped. He shot one last pleading look at Caitlin.

"Go," she said, and her arm extended to point down the hall once again.

Barry frowned and turned again. Caitlin could see the tips of his ears, bright red, as he walked down the hall.

As soon as he was gone Cisco burst out laughing.

"And you," Caitlin spun on him, "Are not helping things."

Cisco shrugged. "Sorry. OK, not really, I mean come on, super speed and –"

"It's a medical condition," Caitlin said, bringing a hand over her eyes.

"Unless it's psychological."

"Yes, but –"

"You gonna help him with that too?"

Caitlin shot him a glare and Cisco ducked his head.

"If you are insinuating –"

"No, of course not."

"Because psychological disorders are just –"

"Of course, that's what I meant."

She narrowed her eyes.

"It better be."

She walked away, moving towards the computer.

Cisco looked back down at the new gun he was tinkering with, a smile working its way up his face. "I ship it," he muttered under his breath.

**OK so maybe one more chapter, maybe two. I don't know, I'm thinking snowbarry and i have some ideas but i don't normally write this kind of stuff and i'm pretty sure i'm going to screw it up. Like i am the epitome of embarrassed Barry so idk i might just screw it all up but i liked writing this so maybe i'll try (And btw yes that was an incredibly cliche line from Cisco at the end and I'm sorry ((Ok i'm not actually sorry i like it he totally would ship them cliche be damned)) i couldn't resist). Anyway i hoped you liked it :) Please review and tell me any suggestions or comments because they make my day and also i don't really know what i'm doing on this one. Thank you to everyone who did comment i really appreciate the support! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

Barry spent about five minutes staring at the cup in his hands, and then another ten trying to get over the embarrassment enough to even _get it up_.

And then about thirty seconds later he had himself a filled specimen cup.

When he came out his face was burning so bad he felt like he was getting heatstroke. He looked up at Caitlin, tried to remain eye contact, tried to be mature about this, unattached, removed, professional.

He failed. Badly.

He ended up staring at his shoes, his arm outstretched, wanting, once again, to disappear into the ground.

"Hey, that wasn't _that_ quick," Cisco said.

Barry turned on him, glaring.

"Oh, did you have trouble, you know –"

"_Cisco_," Barry said.

"Right, I'll shut up now."

"I'll start the tests," Caitlin said. She walked away to her lab station.

"And I have something which might help!" Cisco said. He carried a box over to Barry, excitedly opening it up.

Barry eyed him warily. He shot a look at Caitlin.

"Don't ask me," she said, setting up her equipment.

Cisco pulled out a strange contraption of wires and metal, then grabbed Barry's arm.

"What is it," Barry asked. Cisco was sliding a circular band, which looked a lot like a blood pressure cuff, up his arm.

"It should stop you from using your speed," Cisco said. The band was not fit snuggly on Barry's bicep. Cisco tightened it a few notches. Then he clasped a metal band around his forearm. It was all attached by a wire, which extended to a pulse oximeter which Cisco fit onto Barry's finger. Another wire went from the band on his bicep to a large metal box with several buttons and a screen on the front. Cisco started switching dials, pressing buttons. He grabbed Barry's arm again and started playing with the ring on his forearm.

"Gonna feel a prick," Cisco said.

"Wha-," Barry started, but cut off when something sharp stabbed his arm. "_Oww_," Barry said, jerking his arm from Cisco. He looked for the injury, but it apparently had come out of the band. He turned indignantly to Cisco.

Cisco wasn't paying attention though, he was back to the box, looking at the screen.

"OK," he said, "Try vibrating your hand."

Barry took his left hand, the one without all the Cisco'd monitors and needle-holding arm bands, and started to vibrate it.

A sharp, searing pain tore up his arm and shot down, ripping through his body all in a few milliseconds. Barry was on the ground, gasping, his vision running black from the pain. It felt like he couldn't breathe, like his throat was closing up or the air had been knocked out of him, his whole body still burning.

Cisco stared with wide eyes. "My bad," he said, frantically turning off the systems, "My bad, my fault, too much, way too much."

"What did you do?" Caitlin yelled.

"Um, shocked him."

Caitlin had her hands on his arm and suddenly Barry was sitting in a chair, still panting for breath as she started to take the monitors off him.

"You did _what_ to me?" he said, just as his head was starting to clear.

"Well, I initiated a shock close to what they use for resuscitation, but mixed in a –"

"Why did you think that would help?" Caitlin asked.

"Well, if he gets a shock, it could temporarily disrupt his system, halting his speed," Cisco said, "I figured if I can get it on a molecular level, it would unconsciously stop him every time he tried to, you know, speed up."

"That was not an unconscious level," Barry said, "Very conscious. Very, very conscious level."

Caitlin removed the band that was on his forearm to reveal a bleeding puncture wound and a nasty burn surrounding it.

"I may need to recalibrate the settings," Cisco said, staring down at it.

"Yeah, maybe," Caitlin said.

"Um, guys," Barry said. He was holding up his other hand, which was vibrating erratically. Barry turned to Caitlin and Cisco, his eyes stretched wide in fear. "I can't make it stop."

"You might have charged his system," Caitlin said to Cisco.

"Yep, yeah, that is a definite possibility," Cisco said. He grabbed up all of his monitors in his arm and ran back to his work space. "I can fix it," he said, dumping the stuff onto his table, "Give me a sec."

Barry's other hand started to vibrate, and then one of his legs. He looked at Caitlin, his face panic-stricken.

"I can't stop," he said again.

"It should wear off," Caitlin said.

"_Should?_"

"I can fix it," Cisco said again.

"What happens if it doesn't?" Barry asked

Caitlin tried to smile. "Cisco will take care of it."

Barry looked over to him and then gave Caitlin a horrified look.

In the end his uncontrollable vibration only lasted about ten minutes before it simmered down to manageable lengths. Caitlin had taken Barry into the med bay while Cisco worked on "recalibrating." She was washing the burn on Barry's arm, which wasn't healing as fast as it normally did. Caitlin figured Barry was burning through the extra energy so much physically that his other systems were slowing down because of it.

Barry flinched away as Caitlin dabbed at his arm, letting out a shallow breath.

"Sorry," Caitlin said. She took his arm gently, holding it in place.

"Ow," Barry said. His fingers spread out and then clenched again. He gritted his teeth.

"Almost done," Caitlin said.

Barry cringed and moved his hand again. His breaths were coming fast and shallow.

"Just, hold still for me, Barry," Caitlin said, trying to dab away the crusted blood on his arm without irritating the burn too much.

Barry jerked his arm again. His heart was pounding too fast in his chest. Every sting made him flinch.

Caitlin looked up at him. "Are you OK?" she asked.

Barry nodded. "Sorry, it's just – hurts."

She leaned back over his arm, applying disinfectant.

Barry broke out into tremors, his hands shaking and his breathing loud and way too fast. The desire to rip his arm back flooded over him, and everything in his body was telling him to run, to get away. He could feel his heart pounding, his throat constricting like there wasn't enough oxygen in the world to fill his lungs.

"Barry," Caitlin said, suddenly stopped and looking at him. She put the tool in her hand down. "Barry, what's wrong?" she asked.

He shook his head and tried to smile, "Just… just hurts I guess. Maybe – maybe some more vibrating left over." He tried to get it under control, to stop his shaking hands.

Caitlin blinked at him. She slowly took off the gloves she was wearing and pushed the tray with her medical equipment aside.

"Barry," Caitlin said, "I think you're having a panic attack."

"Panic attack?" Barry said. His head wasn't working right, everything going too fast, but not like with his speed, like his speed was put on reverse, and he couldn't catch up to what was going on around him.

"Yeah," Caitlin said, "I think the shock primed your systems. The vibrating, the shaking – it sped everything up – gave you more energy. Now that you're in pain, it's being focused to adrenaline and anxiety."

Barry swallowed. "Oh." He looked down. His chest felt tight, his heart beat almost painful in his chest, thudding until it felt like it would burst. He fidgeted, clenching and unclenching his fists while his hands still trembled. Sweat beaded up on his forehead and there was a painfully striking resemblance to how he had felt the night his mother died, the pure terror and then his feet on asphalt, running, blood pounding in his ears.

"Take some deep breaths," Caitlin said.

Barry's hands trembled harder. Lightening in a circle, the knife and his mother's face. Gravity gone backwards, liquids floating up. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't breathe.

"Barry," Caitlin said loudly, pulling him back. She had her hands on his arms, looking at him. "Breathe slower. It's OK. You're alright."

But Barry was fidgeting and looking around him and his wrist hurt and he wanted to get out of the chair, get away from the medical instruments and his mother's face, and he was afraid, but he didn't know why.

"Come on, Barry, breathe," Caitlin said, "Slowly." She was rubbing his arm with one hand and Barry followed her fingers, then his eyes went back to her face. She was taking long, exaggerated breaths, trying to get him to do the same. Barry started to try and copy her, mimic the breaths that seemed like they were getting no oxygen into his lungs.

"Can't breathe," he said.

"Yes you can," she said, "It's alright. You're perfectly fine besides a little cut and a burn. Your lungs are fine. Take deep breaths."

Barry fought back the desire to pull in air as fast as he could, slowing down his breathing to match Caitlin. His face was strained, the blood surging through his veins.

"It's OK," Caitlin said.

"It feels like I can't breathe," Barry said once he had slowed down enough to articulate anything beyond a couple words.

"I know, it's OK," Caitlin said.

Barry swallowed hard again. "I can't calm down," he said. His breathing was getting closer to a normal rate, but his heart was still beating too fast and the panic racing around his head wouldn't stop.

"It will go away," Caitlin said, "Just focus on taking deep breaths. Lean back, it's alright."

Barry shook his head. He was sitting bolt upright on the hospital bed, and somehow the idea of lying down, of putting himself in a vulnerable position was terrifying.

"Why is this happening?"

"You're body's stressed. The shock made it worse, and then the pain and the fact that you had to hold still triggered it."

The panic was building again and bubbling up inside him. It felt like he was drowning. Barry pulled his head in, covering his face with his hands, tremors racking down his body.

"Hey," Caitlin said, suddenly next to him on the bed, one hand on his shoulders, the other at his arm, "It's OK. It's just your body reacting. You're still alright."

"Caitlin, it's too much."

"What do you need, Barry?"

What did he need, what did he need? The words raced around Barry's head.

"I need it to stop."

"It will in a little bit, I promise."

"I – I –" his voice cut off again, ending in a harsh exhale.

And then warm arms were around him, pulling him closer and Caitlin's hand was on his back and his arms were around her and he needed this, he needed someone with him, someone there.

"It's alright," she said, "it's just a reaction. You're OK. It's going to be OK."

And his breathing finally started to slow down, his heartrate decreasing, the shaking stopping. He didn't let go, was afraid to let go. He just needed to stay a little longer with Caitlin right there with him, telling him it was alright over and over again until he calmed down enough to believe it. He needed her arms and her voice and her touch telling him that she was there, that he wasn't alone.

When she finally let go the panic was draining and he felt exhausted. Caitlin held onto his arms.

"You OK now?" she asked.

He nodded, shaky.

She started to get up but he grabbed her hand. "Wait, Caitlin," he said. He stopped then, Caitlin looking expectantly at him. He didn't know what he was going to say. "Um, thanks," he finally said, "And… sorry."

She smiled at him. "I got panic attacks after Ronnie died," Caitlin said. She sighed. "It's OK. I know what it's like." She grabbed a bandage. "Is it OK if I finish up with your arm now?" she asked.

Barry extended it as a reply. She smeared some cream or something on the burn, then wrapped it up. Barry watched silently.

The panic was gone but he couldn't stop thinking about her arms around him, her fingers over his skin. There was something there, some security, some longing that he wanted back. He couldn't make it out, and his mind was spinning around it.

He got up and followed her out of the room. They walked past Cisco, still frantically trying to fix his contraption.

"Bye, Cisco," Caitlin said. Cisco grunted in response. Caitlin turned to him. "I'm heading home, are you going too?"

"Yeah, I think so," Barry said.

"I'll have all your results by tomorrow," Caitlin said.

Barry forgot for a second, but then it all came rushing back and his face flushed again. "Great," he said.

She laughed. Barry walked with her to her car and waited while she put her things in the back.

"Go home and relax," she said, "you look exhausted."

Barry smiled. "I feel it too."

She laughed, hesitated for just a second, and then leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. Her hand trailed down to his, just for a fraction of a second, their fingers brushing. "Just get some rest," she said, "I'll see you tomorrow."

She got in the car and Barry was still standing there, barely having managed a goodbye. He touched his hand, watched her car drive away. Something turned in his stomach. He ran off, speeding down the streets. He knew that feeling, and he wasn't sure how he felt about it yet. But he smiled while he ran.

**OK so I have a bad habit of reverting to hurt comfort but I think it actually might have worked OK here. (I'm sorry I love hurt Barry he's adorable) I'm trying to transition into something that could be labeled as romance, but I promise more development on Barry's little problem in the next chapter and less dramatic angsty stuff. i think i know where I'm going with it now so hopefully better stuff next time - tell me what you like and what you don't and if i'm developing snowbarry in any way that works or not ( I dunno, i'm ok at established relationships but this is new to me, trying not to screw it up) thank you once again to everyone who commented i appreciate the supportive comments and helpful suggestions :) **


End file.
